Staying United Methodist: A Follow-Up

On February 5, 2023, the church that I’ve been a member of for 40 years – the church where I have attended and served for as long as I can remember – the church that I believed I would attend until the day I died – for all intents and purposes, ceased to exist. Nearly 80% of the members in attendance voted in favor of disaffiliation from the United Methodist Church. And the process to do so has officially begun.

The following Sunday, out of respect for the other church members that we have served & worshipped with for so long, my wife and I submitted what was essentially a letter of resignation. We stepped down from the various committees and positions we held, and turned in our keys.

It was an easy decision – but the execution was heart-breaking and painful.

Some may think we are overreacting. That’s okay. We have strong convictions that we have no other choice but to act on. And now we start another potentially painful process: finding a different church to attend and eventually transfer our memberships to – a church that wants to stay UM like we do. Obviously, we know that no congregation is perfect, and we’re not particularly social or outgoing people, so we are going into this knowing that it will be uncomfortable. But we have to do what we have to do.

"There’s a season for everything and a time for every matter under the heavens:

• a time for giving birth and a time for dying,

• a time for planting and a time for uprooting what was planted,

• a time for killing and a time for healing,

• a time for tearing down and a time for building up,

• a time for crying and a time for laughing,

• a time for mourning and a time for dancing,

• a time for throwing stones and a time for gathering stones,

• a time for embracing and a time for avoiding embraces,

• a time for searching and a time for losing,

• a time for keeping and a time for throwing away,

• a time for tearing and a time for repairing,

• a time for keeping silent and a time for speaking,

• a time for loving and a time for hating,

• a time for war and a time for peace."

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Right now, for my wife and me, it is time to move forward - time to find peace and unity - time to reject this unnecessary conflict - time to find a place where the words "diversity and inclusion" aren't said with a snarl of derision - time to silence the avalanche of misinformation - time to be happy again.

Who knew that staying United Methodist would hurt so much?