The morning of 9/11, I was working at Diagraph in Herrin (the old building out in the wildlife refuge). We heard the news breaking on the radio, and work kind of stopped. I ended up having to drive to the St. Louis airport to pick up my boss, who was supposed to be flying out that morning until all of the flights were grounded. I listened to the live coverage the whole trip up.
It was a strange day. I was so confused, dumbfounded, and numb that I hadn’t actually reacted to the events.
That evening, Leah and I sat in the living room and watched the news for so long that the channel we were watching went off the air. The final thing they showed was a simple image of an American flag & a bald eagle (I think) with a slow, instrumental version of Amazing Grace… and for the first time all day – we reacted. Our hearts broke and we cried our eyes out.
I don’t recall the days afterward as fondly as some of my peers do. Yes, patriotism was at an all-time high, but I also remember feeling sick to my stomach about all of the revenge and retribution – about sending so many young men & women into war – about the thought of even more lives that were going to be lost as a result. I also remember the massive amount of racism, violence, and hatred that the Muslim community had to endure even though they had nothing at all to do with the attacks.
In our quickness to react, we made mistakes – ones that we don’t have to keep repeating, but seem destined to. My heart just kept breaking over & over, and it still does.
I grieve for each of the 2,996 lives lost that day. I grieve for the thousands of more military, first responder, & civilian lives that have been lost in the wake of the attacks; including the recovery efforts, the war in Afghanistan, Iraq, and “Operation Enduring Freedom”, as well as acts of domestic terrorism and violence. Not everything that came out of that terrible day was all that great.
Yes, I will “Never Forget” – I will never forget any of it - even when I wish that I could.
Let there be peace on Earth & let it begin with me.